Michael Kissinger

Posts by Michael Kissinger

• A Guide to Vampire Fashion

  ‘Ever wonder where Coldplay got the idea to steal Adam Ant’s wardrobe and start looking like a ragtag troop of Confederacy soldiers? It was The Lost Boys…’

• Concert Review – ‘Smooth Sailing’: Yacht Rock Night at the Biltmore Cabaret, Aug 28 2009

  ‘But seriously people, where the hell was the Pablo Cruise or Air Supply? Just embarrassing…’

• Concert Review – Burnaby Blues and Roots Festival, Aug 9 2009

  ‘… if you are playing retro-sounding music and presenting yourself as a retro-looking band, don’t end your set with “We’re the Dap Kings, check us out at www.daptonerecords.com” as guitarist “Binky Griptie” did…’

• Advice – Mr. Fashion Advice Man Answers Your Questions

  ‘Eye-popping accessories are like the crystal meth of the fashion world. One hit feels great, but it’s easy to be overcome by an uncontrollable urge to do it more and more and before you know it you’re giving five-dollar gummers behind the Sizzler…’

• Review – Brüno

  ‘But as far as wang-o-vision goes, Brüno takes male genitalia to a whole new level. Without giving too much away, let’s just say it’s breathtaking….’

• Review – Cut Off Your Hands at the Media Club, Vancouver, June 22 2009

  ‘Another group of young women spent most of the show in front of the stage getting their boyfriends to take pictures of them, perhaps to post on their blog IGoToShowsToBeSeenNotToWatchBands.com…’

• Guide to Summer Fashion

  ‘Show me a man or woman successfully rocking a pair of Crocs and I will buy you dinner and then take you home and play you a video of a guy getting violated by an amputee…’

• Fashion Retrospective – Star Trek

  ‘… lows: Shatner’s TJ Hooker perm/weave…’

• Fashion Forecast – Men’s Underwear

  ‘… simply put, “It keeps your balls away from your leg”…’

• Western Canadian Shoe Association’s Footwear Buying Market

  One Man’s Journey of Self-Discovery and Greater Shoe Awareness

• Let’s Get It On - A Guide to Hump Music

  Michael Kissinger, evolutionary biologist and pop music fan, traces the development of music to sex you up.

• Review – Scott Weiland, “Happy” in Galoshes

  “Beautiful Day.” This is a light pop ditty, written in the sober morning. Things aren’t so bad. There’s a naked porn star in Weiland’s bed and the police haven’t showed up. In a word: hope.